Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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