You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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