one two three fourrrrnication!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
