pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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