My room smells like vodka and shame
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
