i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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