wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
