Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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