I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
