I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
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I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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