Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I will pee on everything he values.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
