Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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