Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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