PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
