It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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