I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
