the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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