he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
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I just found puke in my bra..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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