Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
