I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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