sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
