She announced her abortion via fbk
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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