I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
