he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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