Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize