he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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