I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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