I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.