A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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Why are you drunk at the library?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?