does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment