Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
lol hangovers are for mortals.