Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone π
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ππ
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife