I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again