My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished