I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight