I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.