He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.