We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.