Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My bed smells like the plague
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot