He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.