What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.