some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night