Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
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i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome