i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
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I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.