Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.