Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I want to have your abortion
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick