I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.