When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.