mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.