So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what if I'm pregnant?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.