he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves