Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops