he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.