Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.