My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
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so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.