I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?